BREAKTHROUGH STORY 5.18.2012: Brigitte Sanou

Aired as part of Nora Simpson’s Creation Nation LiveStream May 18, 2012 at 12 noon Eastern

Podcast available for free download on May 19, 2012 on www.simpsonstrategic.com  

Brigitte Sanou was born in Burkina Faso in the village of Borodougou in 1976.  She never attended school, never learned to read or use numbers, and struggled to survive in the most destitute of conditions.  Until The Hunger Project arrived in the nearby village of Yéguéresso, Brigitte and her three children survived on less than $5 per day. 

Thanks to The Hunger Project’s Africa Epicenter Methodology that begins with the Vision, Commitment, Action Workshop, and continues with leadership coaching, literacy training, financial education, business training, and a microcredit program, Brigitte learned to read, write, and use basic accounting skills at the same time that she and her fellow villagers were being trained to take over the coaching, training and financial management programs until the epicenter was fully independent of THP’s staff and funds.

In 2005, when Brigitte was 29, she obtained an agricultural business loan of $34 from the Yéguéresso microcredit cooperative.  In order to receive the loan, she had to participate in specific financial and business management classes and put certain minimum deposits into a savings account. 

She used her first loan to make and sell peanut butter at market.  She repaid the loan immediately, then continued to grow her business by taking out a series of loans through the program for $78, $111, $160, and $222, all of which she paid back in full as she diversified her peanut butter business to include commercial cooking oil, wheat dough and even plastic containers.

She has now earned enough money to feed her three children consistently, pay their school fees, build up her savings account and even purchase a bicycle for herself—a vital mode of transportation in an area of dirt roads and very few motorized vehicles.

But Brigitte has done more than achieve success for herself and her family.  She is now a member of the Committee that runs the Microcredit Cooperative within the Yéguéresso epicenter.  She helps train other women and men in how to grow their businesses and makes decisions about how to allocate the cooperative’s growing resources.

Support Brigitte and more than 20 million women and men just like her through the remarkably impactful work of The Hunger Project at www.thp.org

You may not feel normal but...

A friend of mine in a lot of pain came to me recently to talk about what she was going through.  After telling me her story, she asked me: 

Do you think I'm totally crazy?

And I replied:

No, I don't think you're totally crazy. I think you're having totally healthy, normal, appropriate pain in response to really terrible stuff that happened to you when you were too young for it to be safe for you to feel these healthy, normal, appropriate reactions and still survive into adulthood. So now you're having healthy normal appropriate feelings that feel utterly awful in the present moment. But if you're willing to live through these feelings, learn new healing tools and connect with kind people, your healthy, normal reactions to your history will give way to healthy, normal engagement with life in the present. And it may even feel good if you're not too careful.

I love this notion! People are healthy and normal when they feel terrible in response to trauma. We're supposed to feel grief and pain as part of a healing process. But when traumas happen to children, their nervous systems literally don't have the developmental maturity to handle the trauma experience.  Instead, the most resourceful children (aka the survivors), create physical blocks to the emotions coursing through their bodies through addictions and other compulsive behaviors. As these behaviors get peeled away in adulthood, it becomes our task to re-connect our own physical capacity to feel these feelings, allow ourselves to express the full emotional weight of the old traumas and begin to release these stuck emotions, memories and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Beyond Reason and Logic

Every major spiritual tradition articulates the transformational power available when human beings join together the best parts of their individual natures (honesty, goodness, compassion, love).

When we talk about causing breakthroughs, we're talking about using our access to transformational, exponential power that takes us beyond the limited perceptions of certainty that appear to us as comfortable (aka the COMFORT ZONE).

Tapping into clarity + compassionate support enables us to edge into discovery zones so different from our customary reality that moments in these zones often appear to us as miracles beyond reason or logic.

Integrity + Support = Harnessing infinite power

It can be so delicious to dive into the dizzying sea of philosophizing about the infinite power of the universe and the infinite potential of each and every human being.

Getting present to the inter-connectedness of all humanity feels deeply touching, moving and inspiring.

But then we come back to our finite existence with all the little upsets, disappointments and arguments that run rampant through our heads each moment.

And yet, our tedious, annoying finite worlds are often where we find useful qualities like practicality and responsibility. In other words, for most people, finite engagement can be arduous but without it, the trash would never go out, dirty dishes would pile up, and bills would never get paid.

These two worlds feel at odds to most of us. But, in my experience, engaging in the tedium of responsible though mundane tasks with the support and love of other humans is actually THE PASSPORT to harnessing the diving creative power in each one of us.

The attention, integrity and accountability required to keep finances, schedules, spaces and relationships receiving regular upkeep allows us to access the deep infinite power that flows through us at all times.

In fact, I invite you to consider that the only thing blocking this power source is either vagueness or fear. As soon as you reach out for clarity and support, you will experience the surge of power that many of us refer to as a breakthrough.

What would happen if you had structures for achieving clarity and receiving support in place for each and every day if your life? I invite you to consider that your infinite power would be available at a level of mastery that would go beyond the limits of your finite human perception.

Pretty cool, huh? Welcome to the land of miracles.

Imagining the fiction of the future

My brain is so funny.

I was blogging daily and loving it. Sometimes, I even posted twice a day. Then I went on a business trip and blogged once over two days.

When I got back from the business trip, I left three hours later for a weekend in the country and didn't blog for three days straight.

When I came back, I was exhausted, under the weather and under the gun of a VERY big deadline. A week went by...no blog.

Here's the best part: for the last 2 days, I've been ready to blog again. But every time I *think* about blogging, my brain tells me that I have nothing to say.

My brain is lying.

My brain thinks that I have to have my blog clear and planned in my head before I write it. But that's never how writing goes. For that matter, it's never how life goes. No matter what ideas I have in my head of how something will go, should go or shouldn't go, the way it actually happens has only a occasional resemblance to the events I imagine.

So how does my blog actually get written? It gets written when I type norasimpson.blogspot.com into my browser, click on "new post" and place my fingers on my keyboard. Once my fingers are in place, they begin to type words...words I like, words I don't like, words that engage me, words that annoy me. But either way, once those words begin to appear, my brain stops quibbling with imaginary blog demons and starts engaging with real thoughts, sentences and paragraphs.

The funny thing is, when my brain is still in its blog demon quibbler mode, it can take me awhile to remember that criticizing a non-existent blog is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY.

This morning, when I finally remembered that blogs don't get written by sitting and thinking "No, that's not a good enough topic...and no, THAT'S not a good enough topic either," it suddenly occurred to me that if I wanted to actually have a post on the blog, I needed to stop worrying, thinking and criticizing so that I could start typing. And now here we are...a blog post.

But this blog post isn't just about remembering that writer's block comes from thinking too much about writing. It's about remembering that life blocks can often come from thinking too much about life. When I stop imagining how life will go and just start living it, amazing things happen...things I never could have predicted. But my brain thinks it's a fortune-teller. And it tells me all kinds of things about all kinds of situations before they happen.

"Watch out for this, Nora."

"Be careful of that, Nora."

"You don't want him to think that about you."

"You don't want to say that to her."

It's all pointless worry based on the notion that if I don't plan it all out, somehow I'll "do it badly." But it is precisely those voices of worry, fear and self-criticism that either keep me from engaging with life or acting like a jerk to other people. Whatever the "it" is that I'm concerned I will do badly is generally the least important detail of the situation.

The it will get done. If I do it badly, I'll go back and mess with it till it's better. If I can't make it better alone, I'll ask for help. If I do it well, I'll move onto the next thing. In any of these situations, the most important issues are

(1) that I show up for the "it"

(2) that I treat others with kindness and love as I do "it"

(3) that I treat myself with kindness and love as I do "it"

At the end of the day, being willing to do something "badly" is a great way to trick my brain into getting out of the way so that I can plug into life, show up for action and be loving to myself and others.

In fact, the original title of this blog (before I started messing with it) was "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."

Now go do some things badly! And let me know how they go!

Need something? Just ASK!

This weekend, I participated in a demanding, fast-paced 2-day activity with a bunch of friends that required all of us to perform at our best with little sleep and many unpredictable moments. I was excited and a little nervous--especially because (for those of you who don't know) I eat a special medical food plan that makes it possible for me to live symptom-free with a debilitating intestinal issue.

In new situations (especially ones like this weekend), I sometimes get anxious that I won't get the food that I need which could then seriously jeopardize my health. This brings out all my worst defenses...I can be negative, controlling, over-sensitive, over-dramatic, greedy, judgmental...and more.

In fact, there were several times that food came up in conversation and as soon as it did, I lost all my humor. Basically, where food was concerned, I was a stick in the mud. I felt trapped. I wanted to be playfully running around like everybody else--working hard, having fun. But each time this one thing got talked about, I said things that I know came off as either self-righteous or just plain rude.

But about two-thirds of the way through the weekend, something struck me. When I go to that self-righteous place, I'm acting as though I'm trapped in a cold, cruel world where nobody cares about me and the only way to get attention is to throw little tantrums. In other words, I'm acting like a scared, angry child.

I have compassion for that scared, angry child because there were very real times in my childhood when I was trapped in situations where I got hurt and my needs didn't get met.

But those days are over now. And, I've discovered that the world is not and never was looking to hurt me. Did I get hurt? Sure, but not because it was anyone's cruel intention. It's just that people (especially overworked parents) struggle to show up for each other (especially children) all the time.

I don't have to take my parents' or anyone else's actions personally. I can simply remind myself that sometimes, when people are doing the best they can, their best is not necessarily going to get me what I need. When I accept that simple fact, I get to take responsibility for the PROCESS of making sure my needs get met.

The process of getting my needs met may not always happen as quickly or easily as I would prefer. But, if I'm willing to continue asking for support and seeking clarity about myself and my needs, I will always be taken care of.

In fact, I think one of the reasons so many people struggle to show up for their children and loved ones is that they are still struggling with the fact that it is both their right and the world's privilege when they take responsibility for the process of getting their needs met.

I finally realized that all I had to say was:

"Listen guys, I've got some medical issues that are going to make it hard for me to run around and participate UNLESS I can make sure that I adhere to the strictest version of the medical food plan I use to control the symptoms. I'll be eating a little earlier than the rest of you so that I can participate with as much strength, vigor and fun as everybody else. I really appreciate your understanding and I'm so excited to be doing all this cool stuff!"

And once I did say that, the rest of the weekend just flowed. Nobody cared about the food I put on the table. They cared about the attitude I brought to the table. And once I owned my needs with simplicity and grace, it was easy-peezey to be loving, generous and joyful.

From now on, whenever I'm feeling angry, pouty, helpless or neglected, I have a new tool in my toolbelt--all I have to do is get clear on what I need to be ok and then ask for it directly with trust and simplicity. Pretty neat, right?

So, now I ask you--where are you feeling annoyed, angry, frustrated? What's the simple need underneath those feelings? How can you ask for help to get that need met with clarity and respect?

Asking for what we want and need is about trusting that either we will get it or we will be given something better than we expected. Are you ready to trust and receive? More importantly, are you ready to be overwhelmed with the abundance available to you once you really allow yourself to trust and receive?

Fasten your seatbelt! It's gonna be an abundant journey.

Leaving the Sock Puppets Behind

I have a large, loud committee of sock puppets in my head. Some of them look like my family members. Some of them look like teachers I had in school, old bosses, former colleagues, old friends, current acquaintances. But all of them tell me things that

a) reinforce some interpretation of life that I have and

b) have only a tangential relationship to how the actual person thinks, feels or behaves toward me.

I call them sock puppets because their little mouths only move thanks to various parts of the belief structure my brain created over time in response to my experience of life, especially childhood.

I have spent a lot of time in the last few years practicing saying to my friends, colleagues and loved ones: "My brain is telling me that you're upset. Is my brain right about that?" or "In this moment, my brain thinks you're angry and disappointed and I'm feeling bad about that. Can I check in with you about what you really think before I go down a dark tunnel?" This is one of the ways I build little cages around the sock puppets in my head--to check in with the real people before my head runs away with pointless worry and fear.

But checking in with people about what they think in relation to me only goes so far. After all, one of the reasons I have so many sock puppets in my head is that my brain loves to imagine what other people think of me INSTEAD of gathering information and support for creating beauty, love and service in the world.

Over the last few months, I've done a lot of work to become more aware of my sock puppets--what they do to me and what they do for me. We already see that they tend to disconnect me from reality and give me permission to say mean things to myself. But in terms of what they do for me? Well, the truth is, they keep me company.

Keep you company, Nora?

Well, yeah. When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time feeling alone and ignored. I didn't like living in the present moment because the present moment felt really lonely. So I replayed experiences of interacting with people in my head. Or I made up little fantasies (both positive and negative) of what it MIGHT be like to interact with them in the future. These thought escapes helped me make it through some rough times as a kid and I'm glad I was resourceful enough to discover them. But now, I find, that they really get in the way of experiencing the life I've been so blessed to create for myself with the clarity, love and support of so many wonderful people.

A few weeks ago, I got to a point where I realized that my brain was plugging into little fantasies and memories EVEN WHEN I WANTED TO STAY PRESENT. No matter what I did or said, those little scenes of other people's faces and voices were like a little quicksand pit that kept sucking my thoughts in without my consent.

I talked to a whole bunch of friends about it who all shared their own experience with similar voices which really helped lessen the pressure of it all. Then, just the other day, something shifted. Getting into bed, the thought occurred to me: I'm all alone in here.

And it hit me--there's no one in my head but me. This sounds obvious, I'm sure. But the truth is it was both reassuring and dislocating. Reassuring because it gives me so many more choices about my beliefs and thoughts than I realized I had (even with all the self-examination I was already engaged in). Dislocating because it means that there's no person, place or thing that will ever be CAPABLE of joining me inside this container of self and identity to ease my load and lessen my pain.

The good news is that there are still plenty of real, flesh-and-blood people who can offer me support and compassion. But the fantasy from childhood was that somehow someone could actually get inside my heart to make it all better. And the truth is no one can do that.

The disappointment that my inner child felt in response to this realization was immense. But luckily, it was my inner adult who knew to reach out for support from loving people who celebrated this new awareness with me. Why? Because the opportunity now is to fall in love with the real live experience of being the only one inside my head (except for the constant company of my Higher Power of course).

So, here we go...wait, no...there's only me in here. So...here I go. I've got a lot of living to do!