In new situations (especially ones like this weekend), I sometimes get anxious that I won't get the food that I need which could then seriously jeopardize my health. This brings out all my worst defenses...I can be negative, controlling, over-sensitive, over-dramatic, greedy, judgmental...and more.
In fact, there were several times that food came up in conversation and as soon as it did, I lost all my humor. Basically, where food was concerned, I was a stick in the mud. I felt trapped. I wanted to be playfully running around like everybody else--working hard, having fun. But each time this one thing got talked about, I said things that I know came off as either self-righteous or just plain rude.
But about two-thirds of the way through the weekend, something struck me. When I go to that self-righteous place, I'm acting as though I'm trapped in a cold, cruel world where nobody cares about me and the only way to get attention is to throw little tantrums. In other words, I'm acting like a scared, angry child.
I have compassion for that scared, angry child because there were very real times in my childhood when I was trapped in situations where I got hurt and my needs didn't get met.
But those days are over now. And, I've discovered that the world is not and never was looking to hurt me. Did I get hurt? Sure, but not because it was anyone's cruel intention. It's just that people (especially overworked parents) struggle to show up for each other (especially children) all the time.
I don't have to take my parents' or anyone else's actions personally. I can simply remind myself that sometimes, when people are doing the best they can, their best is not necessarily going to get me what I need. When I accept that simple fact, I get to take responsibility for the PROCESS of making sure my needs get met.
The process of getting my needs met may not always happen as quickly or easily as I would prefer. But, if I'm willing to continue asking for support and seeking clarity about myself and my needs, I will always be taken care of.
In fact, I think one of the reasons so many people struggle to show up for their children and loved ones is that they are still struggling with the fact that it is both their right and the world's privilege when they take responsibility for the process of getting their needs met.
I finally realized that all I had to say was:
"Listen guys, I've got some medical issues that are going to make it hard for me to run around and participate UNLESS I can make sure that I adhere to the strictest version of the medical food plan I use to control the symptoms. I'll be eating a little earlier than the rest of you so that I can participate with as much strength, vigor and fun as everybody else. I really appreciate your understanding and I'm so excited to be doing all this cool stuff!"
And once I did say that, the rest of the weekend just flowed. Nobody cared about the food I put on the table. They cared about the attitude I brought to the table. And once I owned my needs with simplicity and grace, it was easy-peezey to be loving, generous and joyful.
From now on, whenever I'm feeling angry, pouty, helpless or neglected, I have a new tool in my toolbelt--all I have to do is get clear on what I need to be ok and then ask for it directly with trust and simplicity. Pretty neat, right?
So, now I ask you--where are you feeling annoyed, angry, frustrated? What's the simple need underneath those feelings? How can you ask for help to get that need met with clarity and respect?
Asking for what we want and need is about trusting that either we will get it or we will be given something better than we expected. Are you ready to trust and receive? More importantly, are you ready to be overwhelmed with the abundance available to you once you really allow yourself to trust and receive?
Fasten your seatbelt! It's gonna be an abundant journey.
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